illusions of love and friendship
by moon-soon
Summary: Summer is a lot like winter, things die so that new things can grow in there place. We all know what happened once school started but how did they get there? Story complete
1. finding a reflection

**Author's Note: the first chapter of a multi-chap fic attempting to flesh out what the hell happened on summer break (which is a bullshit plot device to change plot points.) first I'm addressing Artie and Tina's relationship that went from strongest on the show to break up hell. Tina and Mike's sudden chemistry, Finn and Artie's sudden bromance and several other things that weren't explained well enough or pissed me off (the sudden inexplicable break up of the Muppet babies?). What I'm really try to get at is that the character all must have been at some point in the summer, incredibly disconnected as a group and lonely and the show pretty much glosses over that. **

**This story is set in the 'completely irrelevant tales' universe so if you don't understand something chances are I've written a drabble about it (Artie's relationships with Puck and Mike are fleshed out there.) on a side note I'm thinking of doing a part two of that series for season two- would anybody actually want to read that?**

Finn ended up staying at home a lot the first week of the summer, sometimes he went on dates with Rachel but other than that he wasn't sure what he was supposed to do. In glee they all spoke like they were great friends but they weren't really, and the people that he used to be close with… well they had a baby together and now he couldn't stand the thought of being more than a glee buddy with either of them.

Rachel was great. He hadn't realised how much he really liked just being with her until this summer when it was just the two of them. That said she still had ballet, and violin and piano. Plus she volunteers down a town over at the music for the disabled program and has family over for two weeks. She makes time for him, but it doesn't feel like enough, and it's not like he wants to be 'that guy' who does everything with his girlfriend anyway. But still…

He hadn't realised he was so lonely until he was actually alone. He saw Kurt, but things were still weird. His Mum was so happy but Mr Hummel still looked like he wanted to yell at him some of the time, anyway Kurt was working his summer job at their garage so he couldn't visit even if he wanted to. Because Finn had been banned from there since he accidentally set part of it on fire. Not a big part of it, just small enough that they didn't need the fire brigade just big enough that he had a life ban.

He might call Mike or Matt, but Mike's parents had made him be a camp counsellor at an arts camp his parents donated to, and Matt's sister had gotten into some prestigious school in California and his whole family had to move. They still spoke but Matt was never much of a talker, and he doesn't want to take away from Matt making new friends before school. Though he seems to be having separation anxiety from being away from Mike, which does makes sense since they're best friends, he just hoping neither of them is as bummed out as he is about this whole separation thing.

He checks through his phone, scrolling down the numbers. Hell he doesn't even like half of these people anymore let alone talk to them, he scrolls very quickly over Puck's name making sure not to stop for a second before resting on Rachel's name. He wonders how co-dependant it would be to put her on speed dial- after all he has nothing but space for her there now.

"Hello" she answered when she finally picked up, "hey Rachel," he perked up his voice a little, no need to sound super depressed or anything in front of his girl- well not in front- well you know. "Oh hey!" he could almost hear her smile, he wondered if that was possible to feel a facial expression "I was just thinking of calling you, my cousin Stacey is throwing this major tantrum that I don't spend any time with her, normally I wouldn't give in to this kind of terrorism but my two gay dads are making me take her to the movies."

Finn tried not to snort with laughter, he wondered if she even realised she used the term 'two gay dads' even when she wasn't trying to make a point. "That's fine; I'll guess I'll just play video games or something." There was a lot of background noised now and he could hear Rachel yelling- not that she yelled Rachel said she doesn't yell but rather sternly reprimand for everyone to be quiet. "Oh you should go do that with Artie he's spent the last week moping that Tina's away on vacation, the reception must be terrible over there because she never answers her phone."

Artie! Why hadn't he thought of Artie, though not a particularly good friend, he was still someone he could totally hang with, right? "That's a great idea babe, have fun with Casey," he rushed "it's Stac-" Finn hung up, it took him a second to realise he hadn't actually said goodbye- oh well she couldn't be that mad could she? Finn scrolled through his phone book, and then again, and then again before he realised he didn't have Artie's number. Well hell, how did that happen?

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Tina checked her phone and sighed, another missed call- why did Artie always have to call in the middle of her music class when she couldn't answer it? It was so typical Artie, he was so doing it on purpose, just because he hated talking on the phone, what kind of person doesn't like talking on the phone? hell she talked to Mercedes more on the phone than she did in real life.

She slammed her phone shut. Not talking to Artie was difficult, because she loved talking to him. He would smile up at her, sort of half desperate for her attention- sure he'd usually ramble on about himself for like twenty minuets before he'd ask her about her day- but that was really just because he didn't really know how to talk to people. She had always found it sort of endearing and useful since it ensured he never kept anything from her.

She texted Kurt but got no response. Shit! Why was no one calling her anymore, it's like she dropped off the face of the earth instead of going a state over to supervise a bunch of kids at music camp- or Asian camp as Artie was affectionately calling it as it was sort of prestigious and had a high amount of Asian kids due to her parents influence. Her parents were trying to push her to meet a 'nice' Asian man, ever since they had been home long enough to meet Artie and strongly disapprove.

Artie, who still hadn't called her back! She would call him but her credit was dangerously low and she could text him for 1 cent since they were both on the same plan. There was a knock on the door and Mike walked in hesitantly.

Mike was the only person she liked at camp, Artie, Mike and Tina had all sort of become friends since they had to perform in these hideous red pants- sort of like how men at war are friends, survivors of great trauma. Still they didn't really have much to say, Artie was sort of great at including and keeping her in conversations with people who weren't in her core group of friends. Without him, neither one really knew what to say.

"hey Tina" he said awkwardly, it wasn't like Mike was shy or anything but he had been quiet and moody ever since they had gotten to camp because he couldn't spend the summer in California with Matt saying the world's longest goodbye like he had planned.

Her phone beeped and she checked it quickly. A quick message from Artie saying he couldn't call her today, that Finn was coming over. "Who is it?" Mike asked curiously laying out on one of her roommates beds, boys weren't supposed to be in the girl's cabin but that rule was pretty lax during the day for counsellors.

"Artie, he's hanging out with Finn for the day," his eyebrows raised, "I didn't know Finn and Artie were friends, that must be weird."

"Why?" it's not like Artie couldn't have friends right? Well friends outside of their little group she could see how that was weird, "oh nothing but I mean Finn used to lay into Artie in middle school, it's pretty big of him to be over it." She crossed her legs on her bed, dropping off her shoes, "he's friends with Puck," she pointed out, even if that was more Puck breaking into his room and kidnapping him so they could hang out, "yeah, but Puck was never like Finn."

They both dropped it, Artie didn't really mention the football team bullying him to her, and she didn't mention what some girls wrote about her on the locker room wall or how she had to change her email account six times last year because some persistent girls in her class use to spam her accounts.

"What do you want Mike?" She asked, it was a bit more forward that her style usually dictated but he tended to beat around the bush unless she asked point blank questions. "I- I just wanted to see how you are."

It hadn't struck her before that Mike Chang the football star, expert dancer, social butterfly might had just been feeling lonely and shut out. Yet here he was.

00000

Artie answered the door after the very persistent knocking, Finn grinned at him holding his x-box and a bag full of stuff. "Hey Finn" he grinned, he had never been so happy to see someone other than his family. He usually wasn't desperate enough to hang with the good natured slow-too-catch-on-jock, but he was a week into Summer and Tina was at camp, Mercedes had joined Quinn and her mum on their reconnect road trip, Kurt was either up to his elbows in grease or sleeping off exhaustion (having decidedly a way more manly summer than Artie.) And Puck had a strict 'don't call me I'll call you rule to their friendship.

Finn was cool though, they'd never really spoken much one on one since Finn saved him from Puck and the port-a-potty. They'd never needed too, until now really. Finn showed Artie halo. Artie admitted he had never played and Finn had thought this a travesty (well not in those words). He also brought his x-box because Artie's had met the red-ring-of-death and he hadn't worked enough hours at Bunches of Bunches to pay for a new one yet.

Halo turned out to be surprisingly easy to get the hang of, Finn was doing a running commentary in the background, and Artie was more than happy to take direction for once. They sort of made a good virtual team.

Later Finn sat through Artie bitching about Tina being so far away, he figured Finn would get bored or distracted or make up some reason to leave after the game was off, but he actually seemed interested. Artie had always assumed the nice guy transformation was more of an act than genuine, but here in Artie room on summer vacation Finn was listening to him whine about missing his girlfriend and let him steal some of the Oreos he brought over.

God Finn Hudson was actually a fucking nice guy! How had he missed that?

He steered the conversation off himself quickly, hearing a voice in his head that sounded more than a little like Kurt's saying 'that his self evolved rambling is only cute to Tina and only because she loves you.' Artie smiled widely at that thought, because what right did he have to complain- things with Tina could only be more perfect if they were in the same state. Finn is the one who he should be complaining after all god-love her he was dating Rachel Berry. And as much as Artie had grown to like Rachel she would still be a terribly annoying girlfriend.

"So what about you then? I bet you and you're friends are having loads of fun." Finn made a hesitant look Artie would later learn meant he was about to lie, "yeah loads of fun."

00000

Mike was following Tina, not on purpose or stalker-y-ish-ly or anything like that, just well… he had never gotten around to learning to tolerating any of the counsellors. He wasn't particularly fond of Tina, she was so much more difficult to talk to without Artie, who defiantly knew how to fill up space, even if it was innocuous or irrelevant. He wasn't sure Tina actually knew how to maintain a conversation without the prompts from Artie or Mercedes.

But there was something about her, like he was seeing her for the first time, without someone standing next to her to wash her out. That why he thinks she must be dating Artie, not that he's not a great guy, just he thinks the attraction wouldn't have come so naturally at first. From what he can gather the first time you meet Artie you can't form any sort of opinion on him, just feel the general sense of unease and wondering that the chair provides you.

In fact you can't not look at him with that chair, you're eyes are trained to him which means you're defiantly not looking at the shy wallflower next to him. He can see to a degree of that working with a loud mouth black girl or an out and proud gay guy. Huh, when he thinks of it that way the more, he's not even sure if Tina even likes them, in the time at camp that he's talked to her he's found out when she speaks about her friends she complains.

That's not all he know now though, he also knows; she likes dancing and singing, she likes her eggs scrambled, she likes her music Broadway, she likes her movies romantic and she likes her books sad. When she talks about her family she looks miserable, she has four different kinds of laugh, and three different colours in her eyes. She doesn't stutter anymore and she wont say why, she doesn't actually like anything goth except the clothing and she's a non-practicing Jew.

It's not like she's opened up or anything, but he seeing her new here, a whole new her where all she has is to be herself and not have a stutter or crippling shyness or even a paraplegic boyfriend to fall back on. He kind of likes her this way, totally herself. He feels kind of special that he knows her this way.

Not that it means anything, she's dating Artie. Who's in glee, and in a wheelchair and who is a totally nice guy. It would be super amoral to even look at her that way, and if Artie ever found out he would never give Mike a massage for when he strains a muscle in his leg again! And that would just be totally wrong!

Mike calls Matt again, they talk every day; they've worked out a time schedule so they're both free at the same time. Mike misses Matt like he misses an arm, Mike's always been part of a team, and he doesn't know how to be his own person. Matt tries to reassure Mike the best he can but Mike can tell he doesn't like being a half anymore than Mike does.

When there not acting like star-crossed lovers listening to each other breathe over the phone, Mike talks, because really Matt's not going to do it. So Mike talks about Tina, and then he feels compelled to talk about Artie and what a great guy he is and Matt gets confused about which one of them Mike has the crush on. Which is neither because Mike doesn't have a crush, thank you very much Matt!

But something is happening he can feel it, Tina's almost a real person now, and she can almost complete a full conversation now even if it is just to complain that Artie hasn't called because Finn introduced him to halo. Or she just sits and watches him dance for ages with a funny look on her face which makes Mike think that sometimes, not all the time, but sometimes she wishes she had a boyfriend who could dance with her.

She's smiling more, and Mike pretends he doesn't notice because he doesn't like her. Not at all.

Well maybe a little. Not enough to hurt right?


	2. escape from everything you might feel

**Author's note: I'm trying for this chapter for snapshots of characters in emotional actualisation, in a moment of realisation. Or at least that was the idea. I didn't intend to write anything in Matt's point of view and it was difficult but I thought it was important to discuss that loosing someone who is part of a 'family' to distance is not clean or forgettable. I always felt Matt could have a lot of potential if they had you know given him something to do other than stand around with Mike (so I sort of rolled with that relationship being important.)**

**Thank you for the reviews, they were both incredibly sweet and I can't tell you have happy I was when I got them! To answer the question of the length of the story; this story shouldn't be to long, and is going to span the length of the summer and while Artie and Tina's distance is the main plot point it is not going to be the only development, story wise, as I want to set up the feelings and friendships the characters have for my second edition of drabbles- which I will start just as I can work myself up to writing Sam (who's character could go so many ways he's making my head spin.)**

Kurt woke up groggy and well into the day, his first day off of the summer. Everything hurt, it wasn't like he wasn't used to a little hard work- he certainly didn't break out in hives at the thought of manual labour despite what his friends thought. It was in fact what he did every summer.

Like every year he found himself in desperately need for money. He had tapped his clothes fund sometime during the year and if he wanted the latest summer fashions he would have to work hard and earn it. Still it wasn't like last summer, when he had no best friends and certainly no Mercedes, which is why he was trying to cram in as many hours as he could manage before Mercedes got back from her three week road trip with Quinn and her mum.

Mercedes and Quinn being friends still made his head spin, and he tried not to think about all the memorable best friend moments they were having together without him.

They weren't the only ones to fly the coop either, Tina had left for some camp which got crappy reception and spotty internet access, and Artie had sworn up and down at the beginning of the summer that he would do his summer homework in those weeks so he, Mercedes and Kurt could hang out when she got back and he relaxed his work hours.

He kicked back his covers, he should probably start that homework really, but really he'd rather wait until they were together so Mercedes could explain history to him and Artie could give him the crash course to his math work. He still had all summer anyway, what could get in his way?

He made his bed and stared in his closet. Boring, boring, blah, so last season and something he suspected was the shirt and sweater vest he had stolen off Artie last year. He rummaged through his closet. Not that Kurt rummaged- that would be very un-Kurt-like even for a sleep deprived Kurt. He placed a pinstriped shirt on his bed with a black set of slacks and dark blue newsboy hat. He tilted his head, did this go together?

He replaced the shirt with a classic button down shirt, the only non-label in his closet and Kurt's secret shame. He hid it at the back in the clothes bag that also held his grade four sunflower dance recital outfit. He shouldn't even own it, only… it was sooo comfortable. Not that Kurt usually cared, he had always chosen fashion over function, but this shirt was made out of clouds or something… and no one would be home right?

Kurt ran up the stairs into the shower, rushing through his morning routine since it was technically closer to lunch anyway. He put on his clothes; revelling in the touch of genuine 100% cotton (not that he'd ever admit that to anyone- especially not Artie, he'd never hear the end of it.)

He made himself some fruit salad and sat in front of the television. He contemplated being wild and putting his feet on the coffee table but his better judgement got the better of him. Project Runway was on and he made a mental note of every comment he would relay to Mercedes about the contestants and models when he called her later in the night, damn! It was tough being so brilliant and witty when there was no one around to appreciate that he was totally within his rights to call that tall brunette model skanky-mick-man-hands.

Kurt shifted to the right suddenly and looked up finally noticing… something wasn't right. He stood up, what wasn't right? He walked into the kitchen and back again, checked the upstairs rooms, checked his room twice and the backyard. What was wrong? Nothing technically, but there was something…

He walked back to the couch and finally noticed there was a lack of a distinct Finn shaped dent in his couch. Finn wasn't home. He hadn't noticed. He couldn't even recall when the last time Kurt had even seen the last abnormally large teen; he was usually parked on the couch or with Rachel…

He wandered back into the kitchen, on the fridge there was a note _'gone studying at Artie's -love Finn' _how had he not seen that. When did Artie and Finn become friends? When did he stop tracking Finn's movements like a hawk? He'd only been gone for a little while right?

When did it normally take him half an hour to realise that Finn signed it '_love Finn_' and when did Kurt stop caring? When did Kurt stop missing Finn when he was gone?

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Rachel knocked on the door impatiently, Artie never answered the door right away- he usually waited for his little sister to answer it. Though chances were she wasn't home and she would just have to wait it out until Artie couldn't stand the noise anymore. Which could take forever.

The door opened suddenly and Rachel stumbled right into Finn who answered the door, "Finn" she exclaimed in surprise, though she shouldn't have been, he had said he planned to spend the day here. "Hey Rach" he kissed he cheek and she waited for the feeling in her legs to come back, she smiled up at him.

"What are you doing here?" Rachel shrugged embarrassed she wasn't sure why she had ended up at the Abrams, only that she had. "Stacey and her parents went home today, no one else really likes me there now" she felt her cheeks flush, "no way Rach, you're dads love you." She smiled wirily at him, "yeah but they don't count."

"Well it's a good thing you came here because there are a whole bunch of people here who like you" he grinned earnestly and she knew this is one of the reasons she liked him so darn much. "What all two of you?" she had intended it in a flirty tone, something lighter, but his brow creased, "is that not enough?"

"No, it is" and she was surprised that she actually meant it, even if it was only for that second in time. He lead her into the land room as if she had never been there before, Rachel let him, it seemed almost important that now Artie was more his friend that hers. In the past week she had heard quite a few 'my friend Artie's slipped in their conversations, like a claim with a certain hint of pride.

If it meant that much to him she gladly let there be the distinction between her friends and his as long as he still referred to her as 'my girlfriend Rachel.'

"Hey Rachel" Artie waved at her, "watcha doing here?" he was sitting on the couch, he had slipped a little and Finn rushed to right him in a way that didn't seem awkward as it did unpractised. She surveyed the room quickly, books on the floor open and note books thrown around the room, and halo paused on the Television. "Just… visiting" she responded distractedly, "Finn did you throw these?" she gestured at the books, he blushed, "math is hard."

She giggled a little then put on her sternest lecture face, one Finn must know off by heart by now, she opened her mouth and then her eyes glanced to Artie. 'Finn's friend Artie.' She snapped her mouth shut, a rant on the importance of education could wait, "do you want me to make some snacks, brain food perhaps?" she asked finally, Finn perked up like he'd just single-handedly caught a bullet like superman had in every superman movie he made Rachel watch.

"I'll be back" she headed off to the kitchen, maybe Artie's dad will have stocked some vegetarian foods in the fridge. She searched and settled for cutting up an assortment of raw vegetables and fruit on a plate (she hadn't been able to locate a platter.) she briefly wondered where Mr Abrams was, and decided he must be visiting Mrs Abrams (did she still call her that if they were separated?) at her sisters. Artie had mentioned he'd been doing that a lot lately, when she had called before.

When she came back in they were playing halo and the papers and books had been hastily placed on the coffee table, she shifted them with her elbow placing down the food and jug of lemonade down before pushing the table with in reaching distance of Artie.

"Is this game any good?" she asked, Finn dutifully handed her his controller "yeah babe, loads of fun!" Artie rolled his eyes, but didn't take them off the screen, "I'd watch it Berry, halo happens to be a highly competitive game." Rachel grinned sharply. A competitive game huh?

00000

Tina searched the grounds for Mike, who hadn't shown up for the meeting for tonight's campfire. Tina had begged off the campfire duty if she and Mike painted banners for the up coming competition for dance group.

He had found a little hole in the wall kind of place, the old playground that no one went to, to hide in. She was annoyed now, she spent an hour searching the area for him and he was swinging on a swing? What was he five?

His face looked almost blank and Tina faltered mid step almost like a stutter of a movement, there was that look on his face that look scared her. He looked completely defeated and she had never seen that look on anyone's face before, she touched his back hesitantly, and when he didn't look up she chose to sit quietly in the next swing over. "M-Mike?" she asked as if she wasn't sure it wasn't even him. he looked like him right up to his eyes.

"He's not going to call again" he said flatly, still not looking at her, she finally noticed the remnants of what must have been his phone. "Said we should learn to not need each other" he chocked out a shattered laugh "like I'm his fucking girlfriend or something, and he had to break up with me."

What did he mean? Who could the fight be about, Mike was really the kind of guy to get broken up over… unless… Matt… had told him not to talk to him anymore! How was that even possible? Matt and Mike were best friends, they had joined football and glee together, hell they quit football temporarily together as well, they did everything. Could it really have taken under two weeks to utterly destroy that kind of friendship? "I'm sorry Mike" she knew that those weren't the right words but she had so little words to begin with, she hoped they were enough.

"How do you tell someone not to call?" his voice broke, "I can't do this by myself Tina," he wasn't crying and if his voice wasn't shot to hell she probably wouldn't have been able to tell anything was wrong. "I can't be alone, I- I don't do being by myself well" she almost shook with understanding and sympathy because really- she was the same way "You're not alone." He looked up and that and smiled a smile so faint she almost didn't see the twitch of his mouth at all.

She took his hand, she'd let him talk if he wanted or if he didn't she could be quiet too, she could be a friend, not a best friend, not a substitute but something to fill space until it didn't quite hurt so bad to loose a life long friend.

He ended up spending all afternoon painting banners with her and the kids and Mike smiled like he almost meant it, laughed like it didn't hurt and playfully painted her nose green like it meant something. And it almost felt like it did.

Until she pulled away so she was alone to check her phone and pretend the 'no new messages' text was a surprise. She pretended that it didn't hurt and she hoped that it didn't mean anything, and prayed that she still meant something.

00000

Matt slammed his phone shut. His finger shaking, he threw it across the room just to be sure he didn't try to call Mike back. This was for the best really.

Really.

Hearing Mike was too painful, being without his friends was way more painful than he imagined, but no Mike hurt the worst. He had saved him to last already leaving a message at Pucks and mumbled through apologies to Finn to the background of someone getting their asses kicked at a video game.

Mike had been in denial and then confused then angry. Matt hated it because those were all just ways of saying he was hurting Mike, that Matt was putting himself first out of comfort. Not that it was comfortable to loose everything he'd known in a few short hours (or had it been a couple of weeks.)

It's not that he wanted to leave any of them behind but it hurt way too much to only be there part way, but Mike just didn't want to let go. He had known him since elementary school and they had always done everything together. He was the only person that really meant anything, he meant more than football or glee or miles and miles. Mike's happiness mattered because really this was for the best because if they quit talking Mike is hurt but then school starts again.

And come the end of summer Mike got to go back to friends and glee club and probably ask Tina or Artie out (whoever it was he was crushing on- Matt hadn't quite worked out through the babbling.) and Matt would be here in California, not a jock, not a dancer. Just a face in a crowd with no direction other than the ones he was trying to hold on too. The ones he knew he had to let to go, he didn't need any new directions he just needed a direction that kept him from thinking about everything he'd just lost. Soon he'd feel better, he was sure.

Yeah right! If only leaving could be that easy, that clean.

**Please Review**


	3. when its not right, its not right

**Author's note: you're first thought maybe 'what the hell I thought you died?' or maybe even a slightly more macabre 'damn I thought you had died.' That is totally not the case; I had prac and then the mother of all exam weeks back to back. Also a patient injured me on prac by kicking me- but don't worry I'm totally fine now.**

**Anyway it's been super difficult to write these characters pre-season one after I got back into season 2 and well keep them in character. But I really want to finish this fic .**

**Btw glee got awesome again while I wasn't looking and is finally spending time developing friendships (puck/artie friendship is cannon now!) and recent glee totally has me shipping Bartie. **

**Also the subsequent new friendship groups of season two has forced me to rethink reactions to Tina/Mike, because Mercedes doesn't talk to Tina or Quinn much anymore and my beloved Artie and Kurt had disappeared until it totally came back recently! But anyway I am retconning the original idea of the end of the story… which doesn't really affect you sooo…**

Mike was sitting alone. He usually sat with Tina now they had worked out a system of being friends, but she was walking all over camp trying to get reception again, so she could see if Artie had called. Tina was funny that way, she didn't seem to want to talk to Artie, just want to know he was trying to talk to her.

He was really starting to like her though, and it was much better than being alone with no one to talk to. Even if most of the time he was just listening. It was different really, he was usually the one to have to fill up the silences, but now all he had to do was listen.

He thinks it must be refreshing for her too, Artie was great but he dominated conversation like nobody else save maybe Kurt and Mercedes, which meant Tina wasn't really accustomed to people actually listening to her, for her to take over a conversation.

Mike rang his mother, he did everyday, usually at night when Tina couldn't see, he didn't like to admit it but he was a total momma's boy when he was away, and he mother really was like a close friend to him. But since Tina was off trying to make contact with her 'boyfriend' (Some boyfriend really, she'd probably come crying to him later saying he hadn't left her any voice mail) he was safe.

He dialled the number to home; lucky for him his phone had much better range than hers which made calls like this much easier. "Hello" a female voice answered, "Mother?" he asked brightly, "Mike darling! How's camp going" he could here the hesitance in her voice every time she asked. They had a fight when she demanded he go to camp when he had already made plans to go to California with Matt, not that, that wasn't up in smoke since Matt had ended their friendship.

"good, the kids are good and the food's improved" it's basically what he told her every day, his mother made a noise that sounded half exasperated half humorous, "really Michael that's all you ever say, there must be something going on in your life," Mike rolled his eyes, he called his mother everyday but she always expected that he had something new to tell her.

"Have you met any nice girls?" she queried "mother" he whined the exact same tone he did every time she asked, part embarrassed part avoidant part secretly pleased. "I haven't met anyone here" he told her, not a complete lie, he had met Tina little over two years ago; he'd only gotten to know her over the summer. She tutted and he could imagine her shaking her head disappointedly; he wanted to tell her about Tina. How nice she was to him and how he felt a little like his heart would beat out of his chest when she smiled at him. But he couldn't. she's only encourage him, and that was the last thing he needed when he had a crush on someone else's girl.

He looked up to see Tina stomping over her hair array from the effort and her eyes shining with anger rather than her usual tears, "er- could I call you back?" this couldn't be good. She sort of looked like a provoked cat, he was afraid she might hiss or scratch him or something.

"Don't forget to-" his mother started to say but was cut off with a "yeah, yeah love you too, bye." Mike hung up hastily and Tina flopped forcefully in the chair next to him "I hate him sometimes it that possible" she stamped her foot into a cloud of dust and drew in the sand with the tip of her shoe "to hate someone you love."

Mike's heart sank a bit and he knew the wrong words came out as soon as he said them, "no you shouldn't" he winced but continued "I think love is supposed be be simpler than that" he lied so easily, so fluidly that he pretend he actually meant it. "you think?" he bit his lip and shook his head honestly but her eyes were trained to the squiggles she was drawing and missed the omission completely.

She looked up slightly calmer subject dropped, "that your girlfriend then?" she gestured to his phone with and even uncaring tone that sounder rehearsed, Mike shook his head, "nah of course not." He fiddled with his phone, suddenly way more aware that she was next to him, so very close to him.

Mike wondered if it was wishful thinking that produced the look of relief on her face but knew he didn't imagine that she had sat close enough that their hands were brushing and their knees touched. That feeling was something he could never have imagined.

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Finn woke up all at once, it wasn't something he was familiar too, he usually woke up slowly with his mother having to come in to his room and shake him awake three or four times.

But today was different, mostly because he wasn't in his own bed. Finn took this as strange, he didn't normally wake up and not know where he was, except for when he and Puck were still friends and would go out drinking and end up sleeping in front of a library, dumpster or some equally disgusting place.

Finn woke up with a start, unsure where he was. He felt the weight of a warm body half on him. Oh God! Was this Rachel's house? Had he gone all the way with his girlfriend and been so happy he had gotten a case of amnesia? Was that even possible? But no.. that wasn't right, where was he?

He was on Artie's couch- plaid with green and orange, apparent taste did not run in that family at all, and Artie laying sort of on top of him but his feet planted on the floor showing he had once upon a time been sitting and slipped down.

It was a completely different feeling, no one had ever fallen asleep with him besides his mum. Rachel wouldn't be caught dead sleeping over and Santana… well it hadn't been night or anything, and both had wanted to be far away from the other after.

This was different; it wasn't a girlfriend or a not-a-girlfriend. Just a friend, it was kind of a novel feeling, that he could say that. He was draped with a garnish pink blanket- probably Artie's sister's- which certainly hadn't been there last night, but it was too out of character to think anyone in Artie's family did it.

He was starting to ache from the weight; Artie wasn't heavy or anything, probably closer to kurt's size or… Rachel's. Finn sat up rather hastily, now was not the time to be thinking about Rachel sleeping on top of him when someone else is- well was.

"What the hell man!" Artie screeched from the floor, hitting Kurt levels of whine that frankly terrified him. "If you wanted me to get up you could have just woken me you know" the top half of Artie's head appeared over the couch looking annoyed, glasses askew. "Sorry man didn't see you" Finn lied unconvincingly and gathered up the pink blanket, "need help up?"

"Its fine" he slipped seamlessly back into easy to please, nice Artie. It sort of annoyed Finn now that he made the connection that Artie wasn't naturally nice all the time, but it was also sort of a relief that that person didn't really exist. Because super nice, understanding Artie could be a little unnerving.

Artie pulled himself up it his chair, contorting in a way that reminded him of the Olympic gymnasts from TV, which he had totally only seen because his mum made him. "Go take a shower or something you look half dead" it wasn't a command so much as a statement and Finn didn't need more permission than that, things felt a little bit weird since he had woken so he prayed to Jesus, Jew God, girl God or any other type of God people considered praying to that he never made the connection of Artie and Rachel's similar body size again.

Cause he wasn't sure what Artie would think but most guys he knew would consider that a friendship breaker.

00000

Tina sat cross legged and barefoot on the floor of the dance hall, she had her back pressed up against the wall and her eyes trained to her laptop which was sitting in front of her. Every few moments her eyes would dart up and she would catch Mike spinning or twirling around the room and she would hastily train her eyes back to the computer screen.

She hadn't planned to be in the hall, certainly not with the obvious temptation of shirtless Mike Chang in front of her, but the internet seemed to be down everywhere else, and she couldn't very well kick him out. He had been there first.

The last few weeks had been painful. She liked Mike, really she did, and well that was the problem. She hadn't realised that Artie had stopped giving her fluttery feelings until she started feeling them for Mike. There was just something about him.

She felt bad it wasn't Artie's fault he wasn't here, and it certainly wasn't Mike's fault that he was.

She hit her keys harder than strictly nessisary, it wasn't like the fluttery feeling was love. She stilled LOVED Artie, it just her attraction to him had been very fleeting, it was a bigger lover than sexual. It was something else, but she wasn't sure where a grown up, forever kind of love left her at sixteen.

Mike was all about attraction, he was sweet and nice and stuff but that's not what drew her to him.

It was the body she was embarrassed to say, he was really good looking, and toned and he had… had… abs! She never used to dream of Mike like she did now. It seemed so unrealistic. Artie was realist, so realist he was in fact her boyfriend even if he did never call. Mike was a football player, with a dancer's body and great abs. Artie didn't have great abs, his chair didn't really lend to that kind of definition. When he came over she'd run her hands over his chest, he had a strong upper body- built differently than any other male she knew. He'd touch her tentatively and she tried not to think that his hands would only skim her skin tentatively, he was the only guy she knew who wanted to take things slow.

Sometimes she used to even dream of him in bed, on her bed looming over her, kissing her lips, her cheek, her neck. Legs wrapped tightly wrapped around her waist pulling her close- and then she would stop because even when she dreamed she liked to be realistic. Which is why she only ever dreamed of him; twirling her around the dance floor on their wedding day every other night.

Only she didn't dream about Artie all that much anymore, not even in the non- sexual way. She didn't dream of Artie dancing, not when she had dream Mike who could dance with her, she could imagine it clearly because in real life he could do the same. And in real life there was a lot of things Artie couldn't do.

Like call for instance.

So this was really all his fault she sulked. Her eyes trained to Mike as his dance slowly picked up in pace, his spins becoming more frequent, his turns sharper and the movement of his body becoming more fluid and natural every second that passed. She looked back down, remembering what she was doing, what she shouldn't be doing. She hesitated; it could wait for a minuet right?

She placed her computer down next to her, watching the rapid movement and lines of her friend's body. He didn't notice her, so there was no harm right? She was a dancer too right? It was more professional curiosity than anything.

The music hummed hypnotically and it wasn't until later she realised the internet connection had timed out again. She save a half finished email to drafts. It could wait right? After all a little time didn't hurt anyone.

00000

Mercedes bounced up and down excitedly, she was back in Lima! She was actually excited to be back in Lima, and who would have thought, right?

It's not like she hadn't enjoyed the time away… though secretly she really hadn't. Quinn had slimmed down from her baby weight from working out fanatically, doing crunches, sit ups and mile runs with her mum while they were supposed to be on holiday.

She was more or less the old Quinn but a little nicer, which was a problem, because Mercedes had never been friends with the old Quinn, Mercedes and old Quinn had never liked each other and sure as hell never had anything in common.

What Quinn had said about being beautiful on the inside was bullshit, unless she thought her insides would be pleased with their new diet of apples and water. And when she wasn't starving herself or working out her and her mum were praying, or talking about school.

Mercedes could ever sort of admired Quinn she was certainly the most focused person Mercedes had ever met, so but now that she was back to her self but not quite a bitch or all up in herself with baby drama the ex-cheerleader was incredibly boring. Mercedes and Quinn had nothing in common and her mother might be the most grating person she'd ever met. And that includes Rachel Berry.

She shrugged it off, Quinn had sensed there incompatibility and graciously stepped back. So now she had time with her two best boys before her girl Tina came back from camp. She didn't let on to Kurt that her summer had been awful when he called. Artie had called once, typical Artie really- he needed someone on him constantly to get anything done, so it hadn't even come up. So she wasn't really in the loop with anyone at the moment and she was dying for gossip- not that anyone would supply any because really Kurt was in an isolated area and Artie and Tina were the most drama repellent people she knew.

Her boys would be coming over today and things would come out they always do, after all Artie was surprisingly attentive in one on one situations and Kurt would smell gossip on her before he even saw her. She stumbled into the bathroom, showering quickly before staring in the mirror.

Now would be the important hour long make up and hair routine she usually completed every morning but instead she just stared. She stared and stared. She wasn't sure what to make of herself thanks to Quinn's insane fitness regime and diet, Mercedes had sweat off pounds and was looking down right skinny.

That wasn't just it either she felt different all over, like she was turning so kind of corner, like something had happened and it was written all over her. But nothing had happened, not to her anyway. But something was wrong, she felt off kilter like something had gone down.

She pushed herself away from the mirror, staring wasn't doing anything for her unease. She took a shower and changed and scrolled down her phone but couldn't will herself to push in any number, she threw her phone on her bed and went back over to her mirror.

She carefully spread foundation evenly on her face trying to hide any hit of how horrible she felt. She spent extra long on her eyelid with eyeliner, dark blue eye shadow and cream trying to make them so heavy her eyes wouldn't open and look at her in the mirror.

She painted her lips and pulled her hair up painstakingly, relieved she didn't actually look as over done as she felt.

By the time there was a knock on the door Mercedes felt heavy and stiff. She walked slowly down the steps and traced the door knob before opening it. Artie, Kurt and surprisingly Finn all stood smiles on there faces and assortments of flowers in hand.

Mercedes had never understood the term let your troubles melt away, but under the eyes and grins of people she loved, she felt light as air.

00000

There was noway of knowing how Mercedes had known something was going terribly wrong but at the time she had been laughing and catching up with her friends, listening to Kurt laugh and Artie tell an amusing joke he'd obviously heard from Finn the beginning cords of 'getting to know you' struck up on a piano at a camp much to far away from her living room.


	4. mistake me for someone who knows better

**Author's note: this is the beginning of the fallout. This story has another two chapters left easy, and will conclude when summer. I'm not sure on the time line- but a fair bit of the summer as meant to have passed by now, but I'm not sure how long summer camps go for- having no idea what a summer camp is besides tv. Does it take up the entire summer? I hope not because I need proper space for everyone to be in Lima at the end….**

**Anywho- I'm not sure I captured everyone correctly but it was a really hard chapter to write. I'm trying not to let my general dislike of Tina affect what's happening to the story but she might come off as a little bit of a bitch seeing as she has just cheated on her boyfriend. Artie is very absent from this chapter and there is a reason from that- but since their all talking about him anyway it's not like you can't feel his presence.**

**Also I'm trying to get this done in a timely matter so I can start drabble set season 2. Anyway enjoy and review!**

Mercedes had been in a particularly good mood for several days since her return to Lima. She had reacquainted herself with her family by going to 'Breadsticks,' and she had even convinced her dad to invite Kurt and Artie.

Both were in good spirits and had in fact spent three nights at her house catching up, but she sensed something underlying all of their conversations. Kurt was lonelier than she'd ever seen and there was an unexplained riff between Kurt and Artie which she couldn't quite explain. They were usually so close, but they almost seemed alkward like they had forgotten how to speak to one another.

Mercedes didn't voice it, though she expected it had something to do with Artie and Finn's new friendship. Artie clearly didn't see Kurt was threatened by their relationship, having been Artie's only close male friend for over a year.

On Artie's part he also seemed unnerved, while oblivious to the tension between him and Kurt; Mercedes return had reminded him of the other girl who was missing. Over the week he had called three times daily and countless texts but the girl wasn't picking up. Mercedes assured him that it was probably just the reception, after all Artie and Tina were perfect for each other. Either if they did bitch about each other constantly.

She had a free night, finally. Not that she didn't love her boys now military attention too her but she needed a night off to breath. Kurt and Finn were having that dinner thing they did every Friday which seemed to have stretched out to a all day event and Artie was picking up an extra shift at his Aunt's flower shop to do inventory and had to baby-sit his sister all night.

That's when she got 'the phone call' to be only dubbed as 'the phone call' for the remainder of the year. Mercedes picked up on the sixth ring, she had been fumbling with some mascara- she was test running a new look before going to Kurt for approval.

"Who diss be?" Mercedes answered and then kicked herself for obviously spending to much time partylining with Artie and Kurt this week, Artie's mannerisms were clearly rubbing off.

There was a stunned silence and then a "Mercedes?" in a small voice, "Tina!" she responded excitedly, "where you been at girl, you haven't called in weeks I thought you had taken one out of wheels playbook."

There was a strangled laugh and so far this non-conversation was very off-putting, "Tina… are you okay?" she could hear a rustle of hair that presumed nodding. "I'm fine; tell me how the trip was?" Mercedes grinned and started off on a tangent "God girl, it was straight up awful! Quinn's mother is like a tyrant what with her 'do this' and 'do that' and 'don't put that there's. I can see why Quinn was such a bitch her whole life."

"you should tell A-A-Ar-Ar-Artie, he and Quinn were tight when they were little," Mercedes ignored the stutter for the gossip though in retrospect probably shouldn't have, "no way! Cheerleader barbie and wheels were friends?" there was more sound on the other side of the phone and another low voice and Tina laughed, "yeah, I think they sort of dated, like you know how six year olds do- he wouldn't tell me." Mercedes burst out laughing before she could stop in, should they give them a name, Quarter maybe or Quartie?

"yeah…" Tina's voice went quiet, "do you- do you think he could still like her?" Mercedes laughed again before she realised Tina wasn't joking. "nah girl, you know his got all his four eyes for you."

"yeah" Tina said sounding a little like her usual lovestruck self them abruptly stopped herself. "Mercedes" she said sharply, "I need you to do something for me" her voice sounded serious, "I need your advice and you can't tell anyone not even Kurt!"

Mercedes promised, she doubt she'd keep it though, "now you cant get made…"

00000

The kiss that occurred was not as passionate as Artie's furious mind would later conceive it. It had been almost accidental if Tina hadn't leaned in so far or Mike hadn't gripped her back tightly, and the series of quick succession of kisses following certainly didn't build a strong case.

It ended abruptly as it started as Mike pushed her away in shock as if he had come in contact with something very hot. "i…I" he stuttered, a really honest to god stutter and backed out of the room at such speed he knocked over several inanimate objects and small children on the way out.

Tina looked up from her position on the floor where Mike had tossed her like a rag doll. She blinked hard like she was trying to will what had happened away, or at least make some kind of sense out of it. She brushed herself off and turned to the uninterested kids on the floor, it had been a closed practice session but some of the kids had shown up to watch anyway to get out of making doorstoppers.

"Okay everyone back to art class" there was a loud unanimous moan from the kids but Tina did her best to ignore it, pointing to the exit as the grumpy under 13s filed out. She sank down on the floor.

"This is not good" she moaned and doubled over, what was she doing? She wants to feel bad about it, feel sick with herself but a smile slips on her face without her noticing.

That had been a week ago, and she still had no idea what she was going to do.

Mike kissed her back with reverence like her, it mirror the feeling of her first kiss with Artie, it had been a wholly pure experience- but like with Artie that feeling had been fleeting.

Artie would be upset, probably- she didn't know how she was meant to feel about that, probably not indifference. She was supposed to love Artie after all. And she did… but that kiss- well it hadn't felt wrong, she didn't want to say sorry.

She didn't want Artie to know either. It would hurt more, it would be real more if he ever knew and she was at this point ready to write the whole thing off as a mistake not to tell him until they were thirty years married.

She scrolled down her phone. Six messages from Artie, she couldn't open them, Mercedes must be back. She would tell Artie to call; he probably had looked up at her with honest surprise like the thought hadn't occurred to him.

She'd leave the unread. As soon as she read them she'd be old Tina again, back to being madly in love with her boyfriend, no doubts, and no hesitations. But for this second she wanted to be…

She had to work out whatever this was, quickly.

00000

Mercedes had come over and smashed a good part of Kurt's room within the first five minuets of the visit. The Hummel/Hudson dinner had finished and the others had cleared out for ice-cream- which Kurt had flat refused to be apart of.

"Mercedes!" Kurt yelled in surprise, shooting up from where he had been dozing on the bed. She ignored him, tears silently poring down her face as she half heartedly knocked over a lamp lightly enough that it bounced instead of smashing.

"I need to tell you something" she murmured sitting on the bed, "oh do, does it have something to do with the state of my room!" he shrieked before bringing it back down at the look on her face. "Mercedes? What's wrong?"

"Have you ever broken a friends trust" she asked him seriously, he bit his lip not liking the sudden sharp turn of the conversation, "I- I don't know" which was a lie, he could count the times on his fingers. "No I mean really, something you can come back from" he shook his head with a furious no, "not even to save someone else pain?" it was still no, which she seemed to expect, Kurt wasn't big on sparing feelings. Not really for anyone.

"Tina's cheating on Artie" she told him, and it was like the word stopped if only for a second, "with- with who?" he twisted his blankets so tight he thought they might rip. "She kissed Mike Chang last week" Kurt threw a pillow and then another one.

"What did she say" he voice felt uneven, like his whole world was tilting slightly to the right and he hadn't come to grips. He couldn't fathom how much this was hurting, how much it would change everything. Everything that he wanted to stay the same.

"she said she didn't mean to- but Kurt, I have to tell him!" Kurt grabbed her wrist sharply, "no!" and they sat in shock until Kurt's fingers eased off her wrist and she could feel the circulation return.

"I mean its Tina and Artie, they're not going to break up" his voice broke, "Tina will fix it" the end of the sentence 'she has before' hung silently in the air. "We just have to wait for her to come back"- or call, or write, give a message via blimp or Morse code.

"but Kurt-" Mercedes anger clear on her face, not directed at him though, "no Mercedes, I think for once we better but out."

00000

Mike had been surprised when Tina started talking to him, no anger, no sadness, just the way it was before. The same painful tension dragging through the air like there had been no moments reprieve of it all.

Until she kissed him again. "I" he started between kisses, "I like you" another kiss "so much." She didn't respond she just kissed him more thoroughly. She grabbed his hands and moved them so he could feel a contact of skin on skin. He wasn't sure what to do, so he let himself be kissed- until he had a thought.

"But Artie?" he asked as she slipped her hands under his shirt, he didn't really want to know, "I'll break up with him" it sounded as sincere as he wanted it to be, and right now he really, really wanted it to be true.

He pulled back "then I'll wait," she groaned but looked guilty, "I really will" she pulled back off him, "I- I don't love him" that was a lie if he heard one but he didn't say anything. "I like you too" she said softly and pulled right back off him.

"I'm an awful person, aren't I?" she asked eyes closed, seated next to him on the bed. "No" he told her, "its awful timing" he amended, "but I wouldn't love you if you were" her eyes opened with a start. He smiled weakly at her, and she just stared shell shocked, se lifted her and traced the contours on his face as if trying to memorise it.

"I didn't think it was possible" she murmured just low enough that he knew she hadn't meant to say it out loud, just like he hadn't meant to say certain things out loud. But he had, and where had that left them.

"I can't promise you anything" she warned pulling her hand back remorsefully, "I have to see him before I can…" he nodded; camp was over soon, summer over soon after that. Would this feeling outlast that?

"no matter what" she told him standing up off the bed, "I can't say I don't care about either of you" it hurt more than he could conceive, hearing that she still cared for Artie, but there was hope it that statement. "I don't want to make this worse."

She got up to leave but he grabbed her wrist, they couldn't be anything more than friend right now. Anything more would ruin everything…

But what were a few kisses between friends anyway?


	5. you'll never know dear how much I love

**Author's note: the next chapter should be the confrontation but I had to get some things out of the way first like the build up that saves Artie/Mercedes but ruins Artie/Kurt for a while (because seriously until Artie stands up for him where did their friendship disappear too?)- And on that note I am keeping on the vein Mercedes isn't subtle because I don't think she is (and it's very glee not to be subtle on the message at least I'm not using a bird okay.)**

**And I'd be remised not to set up some other things that weren't set up (or were barely set up) in the series. I'm not sure how this chapter will go over, but I do think it advances the story to where it needs to be. Thank you for all the reviews and please continue (you guys are like the best!) **

Kurt had been studiously ignoring Artie out of fear and Mercedes had been on him every second of the day. Something was wrong Artie could see it in both their eyes but he couldn't force the words out of his mouth to ask, he wasn't sure what was causing them to simultaneously look like they were attending a funeral but he didn't want to be involved. He didn't want to know.

Mercedes took him out to ice-cream one week before Tina was due to return, they would normally try to get the wackiest combinations of ice-creams they could think of and wince through mouthfuls and eat to quickly and keel over from brain freezes.

But Mercedes ordered French vanilla and ordered him triple-choc ice-cream, he raised his eyebrow as she paid. "Are we on a date, Cedes?" he joked "I don't mind I just need to know," she snorted with laughter but gained composure much quicker than she normally would. "I just think we should try new things, you know, experience something a little more normal" she looked at him with painful intensity "different… is good?"

She beamed at him, and once they began to eat they started talking, "are you ready for school?" he asked mixing his chocolate ice-cream into chocolate soup, he missed mixing things like blue bubblegum and coffee together but he didn't dare tell Mercedes that. "Yeah, I mean over the summer I had a change of heart I mean I had wanted to history and I signed up for it but now I really want French." He nodded listlessly, "I _mean_, I know it's really inconsiderate and I didn't even tell Mrs Korram that I was switching but I've been studying French ALL summer."

"Hey Cedes," he grabbed her hand sincerely "if you like French that much you should go for it, they'll just have to accommodate" and smiled an easy smile. She smiled back strained, "I just think someone's going to get hurt" she muttered, "what do your parents have their heart set on history or something?" she shook her head and downcast her eyes "I'll just call the school or something."

"Yeah maybe it's not to late, maybe drop something else and do both" she shook her head and then did laugh, "maybe."

"how's Tina then?" it was such a sharp change in conversation ice-cream soup dribbled down Artie's blue and marron argyle sweater vest, "okay I guess, she hasn't really called."

"hmmm" she sighed then perked up, "so tell me what your doing now that band practice is starting up again?" and she flicked some Vanilla at him, apparently not fond of the different taste either.

00000

Rachel and Finn got to spend some quality time now that Mercedes was back, and band had started up its summer rehearsals for the performance they did the first day of every year, so Artie wasn't around as much.

He laced his fingers with hers and felt surprised he had missed the feeling so much. It wasn't like he felt like he was missing an arm or anything, but it felt like he wasn't quite complete. Sort of achey but not like in a cheesy country song sort of way.

But the mere sight of her was like breathing in fresh air, even if she was going to use up all the good oxygen talking about glee club and sectionals. "I think we need to decide on ballads," she said the decision clearly already made. "Sectionals not for ages Rachel" he groaned and lay down on her bed, she rolled her eyes and laid next to him.

"You know I think these things are important," she huffed, "you'll be great no matter what" he promised, her chest puffed out proudly. It really paid to feed her ego sometimes as she crawled half on top of him, kissing his cheek, then neck, then mouth… and then pulled back completely.

"your right of course" she said smugly and moved over to the mirror to sit down and brush her hair and pretend Finn wasn't staring after her like a fish gulping for water. "Yeah" he murmured, he was actually getting used to her hot and cold act, and flopped back down on the bed from where he had been sitting perched and annoyed for a good minuet.

She smiled, like he had passed some test. "I should call Artie" he muttered and she scowled, "what?" he asked clueless at her pronounced frown "your lucky Tina's not here" she practically sung, diverting him from her scowl. Finn's eyebrows creased in confusion, "Tina?" he queried "yes Tina, I fear she would not be as 'accommodating' as I am to your budding… 'bromance' as I. She is fairly possessive if you hadn't noticed."

He hadn't, but Rachel was possessive so she could probably spot it better than him. "She doesn't like people taking up Artie's time that aren't Mercedes and Kurt- and that's only because they aren't threatening." He sat up gingerly "and I am?" he would be affronted, but it wasn't a word he used just something he heard Rachel sling around once or twice.

"of course not dear" she laughed fixing her smeared lipstick neatly, "but I still doubt you'd sit well with her, Artie and Tina are different from us after all" she motioned at them. "They're best friends."

"Do you think it'll be a problem?" he asked worriedly, she winced "some how I don't think in the list of their problems right now, you'll be ranking very high."

00000

Kurt had been working non stop at the shop again and his dad had started to worry. Kurt was letting his clothes get dirty and while his hair was still clean it wasn't the pristine, immaculate masterpiece his dad had learned to deal with when Kurt had turned eight and discovered product.

Mercedes came over a bit, and then not as much. There was some break in communication there but Burt couldn't work out for the life of him what it was. Kurt's other nice friend, the boy in the wheelchair had made an effort to visit but the visits always were highly uncomfortable and Burt had never seen Kurt been that terse with anyone.

Burt might have thought it another crush gone wrong, but Kurt went sullen and sunken after what happened with Finn- now he looked just plain miserable. He wanted to go over and give Artie a piece of his mind, but he could tell from one look at the boys open honest face it wasn't this boy who had done anything to his son. Plus only a fool would tangle with the Abrams family- sober at least.

Kurt stopped carrying around his mobile and Burt wondered if that meant something, most likely since he usually couldn't put the damn thing down five minuets to have a proper conversation with Carole at Friday night dinners. Now he only check it for a moment in his room before throwing it half hazard on his bed.

Burt was non to proud of himself but her stole his son's phone, just briefly not that it justified anything, but the memory was wiped clean anyway with the exception of two text messages, seemingly related to each other. Burt praised the Gods Kurt had taught him how to work the contraption and opened the messages, one from Mercedes which said 'whut do u want me to do? This is killin me 111' the poor grammar frightened him on levels he couldn't understand but it was nothing sinister (unless the use of three ones in succession carried insidious undertones) and one from Tina which simply read 'don't.' and Burt honestly didn't know what to make of that.

He put it down and much later he would wish he hadn't because if he had checked the voice mail he would have heard one short angry message from a deep disturbed voice, who simply said 'I wish you were dead.' And maybe he could have stopped something before it had truly started.

00000

Artie was finally getting around to cleaning her room; it had remained the essence of guydom for most of the summer with Finn and him occupying it. But Tina would be back soon- still no word but he wasn't to worried, it was easy to forget to call when having fun, and he hoped she was.

But before she left she had threatened him with some kind of fusion between Asian vampire magic and karate. She had been tripping over constantly and had complained that the room was trying to disable her, he hadn't noticed the wording and had actually thought it funny- right up to the point she almost bit through her tongue clamping it shut so tight.

She'd been home soon and that sent a rush of warmth to his stomach, sort of like sunshine or maybe a metaphor that wasn't completely stupid. He hummed a bar of 'you are my sunshine' and knew it was a lost battle anyway, he'd been looking stupid in front of Tina since they meet and she'd never cared before.

Maybe he'd sing it too her?

He just put down the duster when there was a knock at the window, it was a surprise really, who used his window? He recognised the shaven head and slightly annoyed expression anywhere, Puck stood in the middle of his garden, impatient, arms crossed holding a bottle in a brown paper bag.

"Hey" Artie blinked hard, he hadn't expected to see Puck until school- he didn't like to public acknowledge their friendship if you can call it. "Well" he drawled "let me in idiot." Artie moved back to let Puck jump through, he caught his foot on the frame and careened into Artie knocking him over with Puck looming over him, legs shredded by the wheels and tangled and bloody with Artie motionless ones.

"Crap" he swore mildly, "are you, did that..." he trailed off, "hurt? No not really" Artie laughed until the uncomfortable looked slowly ebbed off Puck's face. He untangled himself and Artie pulled himself across the floor so he could manoeuvre over to the bed and Puck stood up with a wince to right the chair.

"Come on tough guy," Artie rolled his eyes and motioned to the bed, Puck hovered unsurely before pain over came him and he fell heavily on the bed. Artie pulled his pocked first aid kit from the dresser next to the bed and checked Puck's legs. He pulled up the ripped pant legs and stroked his leg inspecting the cuts- mostly shallow.

Puck looked like he desperately didn't want to be there and his face suggested he was on the verge of something he'd probably regret. Artie pulled the chair over to get back into it and went silently to get water. When he came back Puck lay flat on his bed, a perplexed look drawn across his face.

Artie started to clean mourning his bloodied sheets, a necessary sacrifice. "Puck what are you doing here?" Puck's eyes lolled half open up to the ceiling and his words slurred- not drunk but… something. "Puck can- can you here me?"

"Yeah wheels" he murmured, "I just… wanted to see you" he glared at Artie "don't tell," Artie shook his head, who would believe him? Puck put his hands over his eyes, "where have you been this summer?" Artie tried, "shame spiral" Puck laughed motioning his hands to wave like a spiral "I miss her so much it's like being shot over and over."

"Quinn?" Artie tried, "no not her" Puck moaned, "well yes, but not her" Artie gave Puck a wet towel to dab his sweat slick face but Puck cradled him to his chest, "no money, no morals, no good" he muttered.

"ah- I need more bandages" Artie told Puck and went to the kitchen to grab some, when he returned there was a blood trail out to the window and a fear spiked through Artie.

He didn't see Puck or his towel until school started and he would always regret that he let what happened next prevented Artie worrying more for Puck.

00000

You Are My Sunshine  
My only sunshine.  
You make me happy  
When skies are grey.  
You'll never know, dear,  
How much I love you.  
Please don't take my sunshine away

The other nite, dear,  
As I lay sleeping  
I dreamed I held you in my arms.  
When I awoke, dear,  
I was mistaken  
And I hung my head and cried.

You are my sunshine,  
My only sunshine.  
You make me happy  
When skies are grey.  
You'll never know, dear,  
How much I love you.  
Please don't take my sunshine away.

I'll always love you  
And make you happy  
If you will only say the same  
But if you leave me  
To love another  
You'll regret it all some day;

You are my sunshine,  
My only sunshine.  
You make me happy  
When skies are grey.  
You'll never know, dear,  
How much I love you.  
Please don't take my sunshine away.

You told me once, dear  
You really loved me  
And no one else could come between  
But now you've left me  
And love another  
You have shattered all my dreams;

You are my sunshine,  
My only sunshine.  
You make me happy  
When skies are grey.  
You'll never know, dear,  
How much I love you.  
Please don't take my sunshine away.


	6. will I stay or will I go?

**Author's note: there is one more chapter after this! I just watched the Christmas episode and couldn't be more in love with Bartie, how did it go from a fairly odd, dubious couple to the sweetest, best relationship on the show (at the moment.) I think I am defiantly doing a season two drabbles now I have some direction on the plot and I want to flesh out Sam (who is sort of flat to me- but is sort of buds with Mike which is cool) and Beastie (the BEST character) and even Lauren (who I admit just amuses the hell out of me.)**

**Also anyone who cares I just finished all my classes and am getting my diploma so yay me. **

Tina remembers the first time she doubted whether she was truly in love with Artie. They had been fooling around, the same way they always did, she would push him down and start kissing him and Artie would comply enthusiastically- despite where ever they were (not that she was big on PDA but sometime she just jumped him in odd places.)

They were going faster and further than they ever had before. They had touched before, Tina moved his hands and let her explore her chest and he would let her do the same. But this time she had undone his belt and she felt confident for once, she felt empowered and she went to pull at his pants when he stopped her.

"Don't" he murmured, and her hands hadn't stilled immediately "I just- I don't want to yet" she sighed and sat back in annoyance. "What does it matter" it would always matter to both of them but she was being snippy, "it probably wouldn't" he admitted and rung his hands together, "if it wasn't with you- you're what makes it matter."

He smiled shyly and she realised he wasn't just talking about the next step it there relationship and he quickly did up his pants to avoid her seeing more than a flash of scarring on his legs.

She had stood and told him it was fine, because she could wait, waiting- she admitted after when she was in the right head space- mattered. But she wasn't sure how much it mattered if it was Artie.

She had always imagined dancing at her wedding. Always. And it only just fully struck; she wasn't actually as okay as she always assumed she was.

And then there was Mike and the moment she realised she that he might be the one that mattered had been when he hadn't even seen her. He hadn't been facing her, he had been teaching one of the kids a dance move, and he was sweet and he loved her and he was dancing.

She must be a horrible person.

So after camp Tina ends up standing in front her house listlessly; she had forgotten what it was like to come home to an empty house. To be alone, to have no one. For a moment she wanted nothing more than to crawl back into the small cramped bed in her cabin surrounded by other cramped beds and imagine large empty houses did exist. Or at least pretend she didn't live in one.

She paced the halls before walking into her bedroom. She met Artie at the break between middle school and high school in her very short carer as shop assistant and his aunt's shop. And once she was sure she was practically in love with him (the second she was a freshman and realised how hard it was to be without him) she moved all her stuff to a empty bedroom downstairs. She desperately had wanted him to visit her, to sit on her bed and just talk (the thought of anything sexual hadn't even entered- which was probably why everything was so good back then.)

She ran upstairs to her old bedroom; it was larger, with hardwood floors. Her dad had hired someone to turn it into a dance studio for her. There were mirrors everywhere, and it was vaguely unsettling to see herself from so many angles in the comfort of her home.

Though sometimes she locked the door and striped down to her underwear and examined herself from every angle, trying to work out what wasn't quite right about her. with no elaborate clothes to hide in she was just like any other girl, worse now though- she was like Quinn or that girl who talks loudly and sits in front of her in science.

She was a bad girlfriend. A cheater. It hadn't seemed so bad at camp, but in the synthetic lights of her empty home, in her old room covered with mirrors she couldn't hide from herself. She couldn't hide from what she had done.

She had ended things with Mike decisively. They had only kissed, but when she hadn't done much more than that with her boyfriend she realised how awful that truly was.

Mike had frowned deeply but nodded understandingly and she had been grateful right up until he kissed her with one long strung out, soulful but chaste kiss. "I'll wait as long as you need" as she almost cried, because you couldn't love two people at once could you?

But as his every touch was seared into her skin and she ached at the memory of it all, she was sure it must be true, because she couldn't deny she still loved Artie. She had loved him when she was in braces and still wore cardigans and heavy knee socks, and she still loved him now- she just wasn't sure if it was enough. Because things were hard now.

She remembers that year of separation, when she was a freshmen and Artie wasn't there. Mike Chang wouldn't have looked at her twice, except for once when Matt had accidentally knocked a lunch tray out of her hands, Matt had stopped to help her and Mike had looked at her briefly and rolled his eyes. She had been an inconvenience, and probably still would have been considered one if he had known anyone else from camp.

She still wasn't convenient; she had a boyfriend, which wasn't convenient for anyone. Not anymore at least.

But when did she start viewing Artie and her relationship as convenient anyway? Certainly when both of them were anything but.

00000

Tina surprised Artie by showing up the day before she had texted she was due home. She had actually been home a day before that but had spent the whole day alone in her house, weighing her options, in front of the mirrors.

He had initially wanted to go out, but the wear on her face made him swiftly change his mind. "I have a new movie" he said awkwardly, but gripped her hand naturally. She barely felt his touch at all but knew he was moving his fingers slowly over every inch of the skin on her hand- cataloguing it inch by inch.

It was familiar and comforting just enough that she let herself sink into the touch. He let go and moved to make popcorn and she moved into the lounge room to sit, sometimes they would watch movies in his room, but she needed air, and Artie's room suddenly felt much to cramped. Much too… intimate.

They did small talk. How was summer? Did you make any new friends? Did you have fun? Each question as painful to answer as to ask and she let the conversation fall in way of the movie- she hadn't paid attention to the title. He reclasped their hands, his we're a little buttery and warm, and she could feel her fingers slip from his with every little movement.

He was quiet, and she was content to lean into him. It felt nice. To be with him, warmed by his presence and she felt protected from every bad feeling she'd ever had, and she remembered why she loved him. She remembered why she had always thought this could be enough.

He looked at her through the corner of his eye, like he was waiting for her to say something. She didn't- she knew tonight should be the night, but in the dark it didn't feel right to want to ruin everything.

She frowned and studied his face, every curve, every line. Everything she evidently didn't want. It was just too complicated because she wanted more than anything to still want this, to want him.

She grasped his shoulder, and he jerked in surprise. She kissed him, as hard as she could, and then again and pushed him back into the couch. He still felt the same, still tasted the same, everything was the same- except she wasn't.

He reached up and wrapped his hands around her neck, and kissed her, really kissed her. She let herself forget it wasn't right for a few minuets to just enjoy herself until he pulled back and she thought it was awful fast for him to be slamming the breaks.

"Do you…" he asked but kissed her again, "want to go to my bedroom?" Tina was stunned for a minuet, but this must be it. What she had been waiting for before summer, a declaration of trust.

He trusted her.

00000

She was back the next night. Artie had been politely confused and more than a little pissy when she had bailed so suddenly the night before. She asked if he wanted to do something and he produced that same movie, "we didn't see much of it before."

She agreed for if nothing else, at least she wouldn't have to concentrate too hard. He ordered Chinese- and to her credit Tina only looks at the food guiltily for a second before taking the food.

She taught him how to use chopsticks correctly and she giggled as he got rice all down his shirt and somehow lodged behind his glasses. She reached up and took his glasses gently asking him to shut his eyes to she could lightly remove the rice caught on his eye lids. She got real close and… blew. Artie's eyes snapped open and he almost fell out of his seat, she laughed and stabled him with her hand.

She put his glasses on; she'd done it before- never very long because his prescription gave her a headache. "Oh look I'm Artie and I can't eat rice" she giggles waving her arms about and he snatched his glasses back. "I" he said indignantly "do not wave my arms like that." She snorted "you kind of do when you're indignant, it's almost cute if you're not in hitting range."

He smacked her leg, "see that should have been a lesson" she scooted back, "I shouldn't make fun of you within smacking range." He laughed as well and leaned over and kissed her lightly on the cheek, and she fluttered her eyelashes across his skin in return. "What was that" he chuckled, "a butterfly kiss" she replied cutely so he swooped down to give her a Millon butterfly kisses.

They later turned into small sweet kisses until Tina pulled back, "we missed the movie again" she groaned looking at the credits and Artie flicked rice at her. "That's okay we can try again tomorrow" and Tina was struck by how much she actually wanted to see the movie to the end. "You wanted to talk to me anyway right?"

"Ah no" she grinned and took a large bite of her cold food, "it can wait."

00000

The third night they didn't watch almost any of it. And it was all Tina's fault.

She had resolved that maybe not everything was over between the two of them, so of course that when it slipped out. She had been looking at him and he had been laughing at the movie, and he was so nice and being such a good boyfriend (which he hadn't been all summer) and it slipped out.

"I can't do this."

He blinked at her owlishly, "what you don't want to watch the movie," she felt irrationally annoyed like he should somehow know what she meant make this easier. "No not this" she motioned to the TV, "this" she motioned franticly at the two of them. Her voice was a lot harsher than intended.

He stared blankly, "w-what?" she twisted her hands together and turned to look at him, "I met… someone…" there was a look of incomprehensible rage on his face and then it went blank.

"Who" he asked very quietly very controlled, "Mike Chang" she mumbled.

"Of course Mike Chang" Artie muttered deliriously, "he's just perfect isn't he" each word sounding darker than the next. "I-I" she stuttered "you w-w-w-what! T-Tina" he snapped and she had never seen him this angry and she felt her hands become wet and she realised she was crying.

She shook her head violently, "it's not because of what you think" but he laughed hollowly "what- because of the chair." She stood up violently and knocked over the table "God not everything is about you and your God damn chair Artie!" she's lying because it's a least a little about that and she could feel herself screaming because she so angry at both of them.

She caught out of the corner of her eye Artie's dad poking his head through the door before disappearing again. "So what! What was it that made him so great that it was okay to- to" he stuttered off like he was running out of steam "cheat on you" she muttered, "it was only a kiss" but so much more than any kisses they'd shared, "we can work through this" but she didn't really want to. Her heart wasn't there anymore.

"No" he croaked and she was relieved. "Just go" his head in his hands and he was pulling at his hair and two word were never meant to hurt that much strung together. "Yes" she croaked, she was crying more than him, but not by much "I'll just-"

She nicked the movie and watched it a dozen times thinking of the irony in what he had chosen to watch, but not feeling strong enough to return it.


	7. we used to be friends

**Author's note: I ****realised**** I hadn't actually finished this story a little while ago, but I've been majorly busy with Uni and work and blah, blah, blah. I had the day off due to sickness and I thought maybe I'd give the ending ago (I tried several times before but ending this was hard.) Anyway all storylines end ongoing because well that how the beginning of season two started- I chucked in some Mercedes/Artie friendship because I really want Mercedes to develop a healthy friendship with someone (hopefully in the process making her a three dimensional character.) also there is a bit of language in this chapter, but really they're teenagers and the situation calls for it. Anywho…**

It actually took several days for anything to happen, and Tina should have known- she always got a couple of minuets-hours-days (depending on the severity of the situation) of a grace period before Artie really lost his shit, and did whatever he did.

The thing with Artie in pain though, is like a loaded gun, no matter where he points it everybody gets hurt- especially Artie. So she had expected some kind of horrific reaction, something cruel and cutting, what she got was infinitely worse.

You have 12 new messages

*This is Tina Cohen-Chang's phone, I'm either screening or I just hate you, please leave a message after the beep*

Tina- Tina, Tina are you there- fuck okay you're probably screening or… you really do hate me. Why- why do you hate me Tina I- I don't understand. You didn't even give me a chance you- I mean… Fuck. I just- I love you alright, but I get it, you don't LOVE me do you? Well just so you know I'm not- END OF MESSAGE

Tina it's me I'm- those were some stupid messages, right? I don't want you back. I'm so over you, you'll see, I mean there are lots of girls out there who want to get up on this *laughs* I'm better off with out you you'll see. END OF MESSAGE

TINA, TINA, pick up THE GOD DAMN PHONE! Why are you ignoring me, you said we'd still be friends but you didn't mean it did you; it's just something you say. Like I was just you're boyfriend Tina, but I wasn't I was supposed to be your best fucking friend. You know what fine I won't call anymore- isn't that what this is all about anyway. END OF MESSAGE

I-it's-fuck! It's over isn't it? END OF MESSAGE

For three straight days Artie did what he hadn't been capable of doing all summer. He called, over and over again.

00000

Kurt had felt the much more sharp end of Artie wrath, he understood why, it's not as though he could scream at Mercedes or hit Tina. Kurt was the logical choice. It didn't stop it from hurting, really hurting because- because well Artie was his best, and to be honest only, male friend.

"Why" Artie had croaked, he was still more emotional then angry, "why wouldn't YOU tell me, why wouldn't you think *I* had the RIGHT to know." Artie was crying and Kurt was doing his best to ignore it, because acknowledging that his friend was breaking right before his eyes wouldn't do any good for either of them. "I wanted to tell you" it's not true, Kurt hadn't wanted to tell Artie, he had been so sure they wouldn't break up. That it was a moment of weakness that Artie would never NEED to know. That Tina wouldn't do this to him, to them.

Or maybe it was just selfish. He hadn't wanted to be the one to break his heart, but it was broken now anyway and Kurt had just splintered it with every moment he'd known and hadn't told Artie. He wished Mercedes had never told him.

"I can't do this" Artie muttered and he pulled away, grateful that they were in Kurt's kitchen and not his bedroom where there was no way he could escape. "What?" Kurt's voice was high and painful, "you're what? Breaking up with me" it was supposed to sound ludicrous but instead it hit just a little too close to home.

"I love you Kurt" Artie told him sincerely, and Kurt was dumbfounded, because of course Artie would only tell him this as he decided they couldn't be friends anymore. "I do," and now Kurt was crying to, and he sunk hard into the wooden chair next to his kitchen table. It didn't make the décor, he thought hysterically, he would have to change it, or maybe change everything else in the room.

"Artie it was a mistake, I see that now but you and I don't have to stop being friends just because T-"

"YES WE DO" and Artie's anger while initially expected took him totally by surprise. "YOU choose her, and you didn't even talk to me first." Artie took off his glove and wiped his face, the first acknowledgment that he was crying. "I can't go to school and see you every day and call you my best friend any-anymore" he was tripping over words now but he looked up determined to finish. "Shit Kurt I don't even know how I'm supposed to see Tina every day. It's just too hard."

"Oh it's that it" Kurt snapped violently, "it's just to *hard* well isn't that such an Artie thing to say," Artie ignore him and turned to leave. "You can't just run away when things get to hard Artie."

"ARTIE" Kurt yelled and he rolled away, "you don't just run away from the people you love- you fight for them- you can fight for her."

The door slammed.

You could fight for me, for us. We used to be friends.

00000

Mercedes had been working on the last of her summer homework, there was almost no time left and she had barely even started on her reading list. There had been papers and books stretched out on the floor, she had highlighters and sticky notes and anything else she might need to be a productive student and she was going to get some work done today damn it.

She was not going to be distracted by project runway reruns or by Kurt's array of messages in her phone she had yet to look at. That was all just going to have to wait. She had just underlined a quote from Pygmalion talking about how those two gay dudes wanted to play dress up with some poor girl on the street and flicked to the end to find the bit where he grew accustomed to her face when there was a sharp knock on the door.

"I'm busy dad, if you brought snacks just leave them on the desk" she called through the door; she really didn't have time for a father-daughter chat. The knock just grew louder; "uh, uh" she called again "don't pretend your hands are too full or nothing, because how else would you be knocking."

The door creaked open, and Mercedes didn't bother to look up, "well gee, was that so hard," she circled the page number and folded it down, she'd defiantly need it for the essay. "I suppose not" a soft, distinctly not her daddies voice replied, she looked up sharply. Tina hovered in the doorway.

"Hi" she waved timidly, her smile was stretched thin but she seemed to glow a little- probably from all the Mike Chang lovin- Mercedes thought a little bitterly. She had been hoping if anyone was gonna come and see her it would have been Artie, but after he lost it at Kurt he went into hibernation, pretending nothing had happened and hanging out with Finn, who they were under express instructions not to tell.

"Hi" she replied dismissively and looked back down, Tina frowned at her, Mercedes couldn't see it, but she knew a angry frown when she couldn't see one. "What the hell Mercedes? You haven't seen me in months and you don't even look at me."

Mercedes looked up deliberately and slowly, "Hi Tina" and then looked down again, there was silence for a long time after that. Tina sank to the floor, back to the door and watched Mercedes work. And Mercedes to her credit actually tried to get some work done.

"Do you hate me?" Tina asked suddenly, and Mercedes looked at her, her eyes were red, "no" Mercedes said without even thinking about it. "I'm never going to hate you Tee" she winced at herself, the nickname was Artie's not hers, "I'm just mad at you right now- I just… need time." She gripped her book tightly, the binding was giving way under the pressure and with one good rip it would break.

"Are you happy?" she asked, she couldn't actually look at Tina when she asked, "yes" she replied quickly. "No your not," Mercedes told her, Tina looked angrily at her "yes- yes I am, I'm not going to be unhappy just because you want me do be. I love Mike," Mercedes scoffed "no you don't, we both know this isn't about Mike."

"Well then tell me Mercedes" Tina stood up, dusting her long cobwebbed skirt off "what is it about?" Mercedes didn't forget the lack of denial but didn't want to make things worse. "I- don't know Tina, I don't know what you want- I can't tell you" the book was split in half now, she'd have to find a stapler "It's not going to be easier just because you don't love him as much."

Tina kicked open the door, "what would you know."

The hit landed and stung for hours, because right. What would *she* know?

00000

It was two days before school when Artie turned up on Mercedes door, he wouldn't go home for a week, but neither of them told anyone. He stared at her bedroom wall and she made him cup after cup of green tea which he which doesn't drink- at least while she's in the room, when she's out he gulps them down and pretends he's thrown them in the pot plants. She knows and smiles, it's such an Artie thing to do, pretend like he's not a nice guys for her. So she doesn't have to feel bad- it doesn't work, but that's okay.

"Do you think I'm pathetic" he asks her, hoping the answer isn't yes, because she's really the only friend he has left that matters anything. "No" she tells him and hands him her French book so he can compare notes, "they let you into French then?" he asked looking down, pretending that conversation hadn't slid into horrible clarity several days before.

"It's alright, I guess" she tried to make it as clean of any metaphor as possible. "it's okay to like French Mercedes" he rolled his eyes, "okay- but it's not okay for Kurt to like French?" she responds her eyebrows raised, "er- Cedes I was actually talking about French."

She stared at him, and then giggled, and then laughed and he followed her in fits of laughter, "we'll be okay" he told her utterly unconvincingly, "I just need time to fix this- I've messed it all up." Mercedes put a hand on his shoulder, "maybe a little- with Kurt I mean," she massages his shoulder comfortingly, "but not with Tina, I don't think you should go there."

"I love her Mercedes"

Mercedes sighs, "I know honey" and she almost cries because of it, "I know."


End file.
